Today I realised how much we put our parents through as kids. (I have not blogged for 2 years - no point in trying to catch up - will start from today, and see after today, if I actually get back into it). Kate, my little nearly 14 month old poppet had to have some very minor eye op - to enlarge her ever so tiny and always blocked tear ducts. In spite of having previously watched a hip replacement which is like watching carpentry, I was not emotionally prepared for the experience of watching my angel go under anaesthetic. I had to swallow the largest lump in my throat as I held her increasingly limp body and watched her eyes roll back...flip...and then she was rasping for air while I put her on the table to be intubated. I then had to leave - after the anaesthetist told me to kiss the rasping angel. It was too much. Rationally I knew it was just a minor 15 minute procedure, but I have this thing about general anaesthetics. Maybe I do have deep scars from watching previous surgeries!
Bottom line is this - between Cath, Jess and I, mum and dad have had to hold our hands, our limp bodies on countless occasions in hospital - for surgeries, sudden illness, minor strokes! I now understand the agony, the irrational fear that you feel when you hand your babe over to be cared for by medical experts, and the unconditional depth of love my parents have for me.
Oh and looking back at this blog i see I was sick quite often after Ella was born. I must have a genetically flawed immune system. After 10 weeks of bugs in the Binos home I have had enough!
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